'I thought I killed her with my magical mind': Pamela Anderson says she 'tried to kill' the babysitter who molested her for years

Pamela Anderson

The new Netflix documentary, Pamela: A Love Story, was the platformed used by the Canadian star Pamela Anderson to speak about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her female babysitter when she was a child.

The Bay Watch star said that she later tried to kill the woman by stabbing her in the heart with a pen but that she died in a car crash the very next day.

Pamela Anderson was so convinced that she had caused the death with her own magic powers that she didn't tell anyone and carried the guilt with her for years despite being a child at the time of the incident.

In a harrowing account, the 55-year-old said: 'I had some horrible things happen when I was little. I had a babysitter and my parents thought she was a great babysitter because she brought presents all the time, but she was molesting me.

'It was three or four years of abuse. She always told me not to tell my parents. I tried to protect my brother from her. I tried to kill her. I tried to stab her in the heart with a candy cane pen. And then I told her I wanted her to die and then she died in a car accident the next day.

'So I thought I killed her with my magical mind and I couldn't tell anyone. But I was sure that I did it, that I wished her dead and she died.

'I lived with that my whole really young life.'

She continued: 'When those traumatic moments would happen, I would just leave my body and float away and I'd make my own little world.

'I was digging a hole to China, thinking "I hate this, I hate this, I wanna get out of here". I just thought I had to get off the island.

'As I got older, I was like a little tomboy. I was a gymnast so I was tiny. I bloomed very late then I got one lump on my chest and I was rehearsing for a long time how to tell my mom I was dying of cancer.

'Cause I thought it was cancer and I was trying to pound it back into my chest. And then when I finally told her, she laughed and said: "Oh, you're becoming a woman".'

Anderson's eldest son Brandon Thomas Lee from her marriage to Greek-American Tommy Lee was a producer on the documentary. The 26-year-old claimed his mother was criminally underpaid during her time on the 90s pop culture staple Baywatch because she only makes $4,000 annually off of residuals.

'When I go back and I even look at past deals and residual checks, people would be shocked to find out how people really took advantage of her,' he told Extra at the Netflix Tudum Theater in Hollywood, at the premiere of the documentary.

He described his mother - who played the role of C.J. Parker on 110 episodes of the syndicated series from 1992-1997 - as 'a young girl making a bad deal on a big show and she was the biggest star at the time'.

Lee continued: 'A lot of people made a lot of money off that, people are going to have to have their day when we come knocking… when she makes $4,000 a year off of Baywatch? That's a crime.'

In Pamela: A Love Story, we follow Anderson as she narrates her life from her childhood to the present day. She now lives in Ladysmith, British Columbia, where she was born and raised. We meet her sons, Brandon and Dylan.

We watch as she stands in the kitchen with her mother, talking. We see her rehearsing for and performing in the Broadway musical Chicago. The present-day narrative is interspersed with clips from her life and career.

She has hundreds of videotapes in her personal archive documenting nearly everything, which the director draws from liberally.

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